After much to much procrastination and living this new life, I have decided it is time for a final Blog post. Pending some major life change, who knows. For the longest time I have wondered what to say. Do I declare this a victory or not. Do i dare?
I think for a long time I have thought that if i ended this blog I am declaring the war over, and that it might lead me down the path of failing and regaining the weight that tore me apart for so many years. Lets take that chance, at least with the blog.
At one point I had thought about ending this with a full on, nude picture of myself to show you what the new body looks like in all its glory, or maybe in all its Gory. But lets not get anyone in trouble. I do not want anyone to go blind with horror. However At the bottom of this blog will be a picture of me in just my man undies, as I think it is really important to give you an unadulterated look at what being obese does to a body over time. If you don't want to view it, I totally understand and Ill post a little warning in text below so you wont scroll down all the way accidentally.
There is no way this ends here though, at least for the battle of the bulge. I have to look at this as just one more step to living as a healthy and somewhat smaller person, in size of course, not in heart and soul.
So where do I stand? How am I doing? Well, this morning I weighed in at a svelte ( for me) 170.8 pounds. Yes we are coming up on 2 years post op and 1 year post goal weight (170 if you forgot) and I've been able to maintain effectively throughout. Thee have been some wobbles, i know at one point I had weighed in at 178 but was able to bring it back down pretty quickly through watching my diet closer and getting back to the gym.
There's a little subject, the gym. A wonderful co-worker who has been one of my most vocal supporters, once said to me when i first started on this journey
" ...you will become addicted to the gym, and come to love it."
Umm, Nope , didn't happen, wont happen, not a fan.
Ha Ha.
My gym regimen varies only in that i do tend to miss more days than id like. But on a good week I'm there 5 to 6 days, doing my thing.
I go to planet fitness, yes it cheap , and I like it. Its close by and did I say its cheap? 20 bucks a month and I'm happy, and there are literally no , " do you even lift bro?" guys there, which tends to make working out more acceptable.
There's a new gym in the area that has a lot more bells and whistles, , including classes like aerobics etc, Spinning seems to be the thing I would like to try. I ride the bike, yep that's pretty much it, sometimes myself and my wife Hope, hit the treadmill, sometimes i do both.
When I'm there by myself i usually do about 10 miles on the bike. at a very good clip. usually about 105 rpm, with hills turned on level 3. I don't like the recumbent bike, just not comfortable with it. I have used the elliptical as well, and its okay i can take it or leave it, 40+ years of being the fat kid/guy has not helped my knees though.
I was able to set a series of records for myself in distance on the bike, I first hot 50 miles in a 4 day period this year and then 60 miles, as well as my current high of 18.5 miles on the bike in one workout. I'm aiming for the big 20 by the end of the year. My goal once i hit 20 miles, is to move on to running on the treadmill.
Running on a treadmill seems tough to me. I would like to start by jogging, but treadmills don't seem to do jogging mode very well, its either full out run, or a fast walk. Finding that middle ground will require some experimenting. I will have to go real early so no one sees me fall flat on my face in a Taylor Swift-esque moment.
I would like to start running so that I can run a 5k, I would like to try a 5k put on by Dave Will, Entrepreneur and former owner of the company I am employed by, called the Marshfield Run for the Hills , held annually, but it is on September 5th and I doubt Id be able to run it right now, or maybe I would who knows. I will run one next spring for sure. Progress is slow, but it is progress after all.
Okay, enough about exercise. How about we move on to a more touchy subject, health.
I have been asked a few times what this whole change ( 408 pounds down to 170) has truly meant to my health and well being. Well , I haven't had pneumonia since the surgery. That's really amazing.
To give you an idea, I had pneumonia around 13 times in the previous 5 or 6 years. I went over a year recently without having to take a sick day , after averaging at least one week off to be hospitalized or bedridden almost every year for the past 5+. While i still have a bad back, I do not have to have surgery, at least not for the foreseeable future. We may need a little background here. A few years back I had shoulder surgery.I t went well but required some extended physical therapy. During my therapy sessions, they would have me warm up by spending 15 minutes on the exercise bike.
At that time I would make it 1.5 miles and literally feel like I was going to pass out and die. I'd then have to sit down off the bike, drink some water etc, to recover. (note the above distance now ) Well during some exercises I bent over and a sharp pain that felt like glass breaking , hit me. Well to make a long story short, that sharp pain was probably one of the two discs in my spine in the lumbar region, either L4 or L5 both of which are herniated. So onward to a spine consult. The doctor looked me over , looked at my MRI and said yep, you need surgery, but I cant operate until you 1. Lose some weight, and 2. you lower legs have to be fixed.
Whats wrong with my lower legs you ask? Well due to being obese for so long, I had serious circulation problems and had to wear compression hose to help push the blood from my feet back up to my heart. As a result of this, the skin broke down very easily, the hair and all fallen out and skin was thin, weak and discolored and very very swollen, I was on fluid medication, and had to literally prop my feet up to help my circulatory system function. I went to see the leg surgeon, and he explained the process of "vein stripping" I wont go into details, but yes its as horrible as it sounds and helped me make the decision to get my Vertical Gastric Sleeve surgery and finally get rid of this burden.
Well i can happily report I can wear normal socks without worrying about them cutting off my circulation. I wear regular size shoes, not super wide widths. ( went from a 12 EEE to a 10.5 regular)
Overall the results have been dramatic. You hear people say that its like being given your life back. But its not, its actually being given a whole new life. I never learned how to be a normal bodied person. Its like figuring out you have hands after not using them for most of your life. The things you can do just boggle the mind. I can walk through a mall, and not have to stop at every bench to take a break and rest. I went to a casino with some of my best friends and walked through the whole thing without sitting down, and my fitness tracker showed we walked well over 7 miles that day. I didn't walk a mile in a week before this.
It is simply, life changing.
Okay so what about the aftermath. Well those of you who read the blog from the beginning, know I wanted to do something to really show what this experience would be like, so I will get to it. The part I don't like to talk about and don't like to think about, yet slaps me in the face ( well other places really) every day. I wont go into the sexual part of this, but suffice it to say, that removing fat reveals a lot of things you didn't know were there.
So on to the the two words that really affect me the most.
Loose Skin.
It sucks. Yes its that blunt. It not a good thing, is it bearable? Well it has to be. Is it better than being fat? Surely, I wont die of loose skin. Die of Embarrassment maybe, but lets face it, its better to be alive and well with loose skin than it is to be fat, well filled out, and breathing like darth vader, when you walk to the bathroom.
Okay loose skin is what happens when all that skin that was filled with fat, is no longer filled with fat. Think of it as emptying a overstretched trash bag, whats left is the loose skin.
It tends to sit in places that arent a lot of fun.
ARMS
You get wonderful full on flopping, flesh slapping, wings hanging below you biceps. Your arm pits become caverns that would make indiana jones scared of exploring. People call them bat wings, so I have the built in cape, but no utility belt.
But living with it, is okay, you wear shirts after all.
The Chest
Well that's a problem area in itself. As a fat guy, yes I had man boobs, now i have man flesh bags. You tend to rely on compression undershirts to hold you in. Its quite disheartening and emotionally, it gets to you. People look at you, you cant help but see it, and they cant help it either, but you focus on the good things and you don't wear form fitting shirts without serious compression underneath.
The Belly/Apron
Think of wearing an apron. Now imagine it made out of flesh. Its also commonly called the Panny area. Its what used to be your belly. Its gross, its floppy and it gets all wrinkly and you hide it any way you can. Heres a tip don't bend over forward without your shirt on and your belly area tucked in firmly. Gravity isnt pretty or kind.
Below the waist.
This is a touchy subject, there an area below the welt called the Belt area. its above your fun zone but not by much. You have a lovely mini apron there as well. Not at all what you'd like to see and I wont show it to you for obvious reasons
Now the Butt has a bit of sag but its not bad and I don't have to see it, so out of sight out of mind. Legs, well again its the back of the thighs so, ill let someone else deal with it.
What's the procedure for all this?. Well it isnt pretty. The arms are rough, but not too bad they just make about a six inch cut along the bottom of the arms, then chop off all the skin and tissue there and leave you a nice half foot long suture line and scar on each arm.
For the chest its likely just some liposuction and a possibility f some excision of skin ( removal) but its nt to bad, they can usually hide the scars pretty well toward the arm pit. Sometimes they have to remove the nipple and relocate it a bit.
For the Apron area, the procedure is called a panniculectomy. Or removal of the panny area. So they normally use a incision called an anchor cut. Think of placing an anchor starting with a line from your breastbone straight down to your fun zone the cut sideways to both sides out as far as your hips. Yep, its that big, your talking cutting you so wide open your abdominal wall is in view. Then they remove that giant area of skin and sew you up, but not before they place some tubes in there with drains to let all that fluid that builds up out. They leave them in for a week or so so that fluid can flow out, before you go back in to have them removed. Yea that sounds like a lot of fun. Many times they will also stitch the abdominal wall back together inside as well. That's a Tummy tuck.
All told If i had the chest and stomach done, your looking at an additional weight loss of close to 15 to 20 pounds. Wow. But damn all at the same time. Here's the kicker insurance doesnt cover that unless you have health issue related to it, like abscesses or the like. So out of pocket cost, between 18 and 30 thousand. Most plastic surgeons wont even see you with you paying out of pocket for the initial consult. So the possibility of me having those surgeries? Nah, not gonna happen. Unless there's a lottery to win. But at least ill be alive to joke about it.
OKay so now here is where we get that warning. I am going to show a part of myself only myself , my wife and my surgeon have seen. I wouLd bear you no ill will if you just close thE page now.
So before I show you the pictures, and end this blog, I would like to say thank you.
Thank you to My Friends, My coworkers, My Family, my Loved ones, and My amazing Wife. Her name is Hope in case you don't know, and hope is also something this surgery and this journey, has given to me.
Without you all, I could never have succeeded in this. I truly love you all.
WARNING IF YOU ARE EASILY GROSSED OUT, OR JUST DONT WANT TO SEE PLEASE LEAVE NOW!
SCROLL DOWN IF YOU WISH TO SEE.
STRAIGHT UP
SHOWING ARMS
