..........All I want for Christmas, is food.

  Hello all, Yes it has been awhile but  this time immediately following surgery has been....busy and involved to say the least.  While on the pain meds you really should not write. ( The things i wrote ,  well wow, English becomes your third language right behind gibberish.) Immediately after you stop the pain meds you have so much to do just making your day go by, that you don't seem to have time to write. 
Before we get too far along I would like to post some videos! Yay here are some videos for your enjoyment. They are taste tests of two different product lines. First is from the about time shake and go series.

 
  The second is from Premier Protein, many people swear this is great, we shall see The premier people were kind enough to send me 4 4-packs of their assorted flavors of ready made products. Now we all remember how bad the ready made stuff was very early on in the blog, but with many people liking these we are giving it a shot. 

  Anyway, Let us focus on the good things, today is 12/30/2014 exactly 14 days since surgery. Two weeks, half a month!  lets look at the positives and do a grand recap of this weight issue as it relates to this surgery. In 2012 I weighed in at 408 pounds, this is while I was in school, unemployed and just focusing on schoolwork, doing a mix of daytime, morning and night classes made or helped me, eat very bad things and eat them sometimes at weird hours, not very conducive to living healthy at all.
    I started my  employment at Peach, where I have had so much support and  help, in February 2014, at that time I happened to go to my doctors and weighed in at 374 pounds.   I started my pre op diet on October 12, 2014 at 362 pounds, which felt good to be down from the 408 two years previous. My surgery date was 12/16/2014 and at that time I weighed 332 pounds. Now back to today. Two weeks post surgery I weighed in this morning at 307 pounds. 25 pounds down in 14 days. Now obviously this is not going to last, this rate of weight loss that is. You cant lose over a pound a day for a sustained period of time without  turning into a malnourished waif.  
    For the first week or so, two pounds a day was the norm, the last few days have slowed to a pound a day and soon , from conversations with others etc, my weight loss will slow to a few pounds a week and stay at that rate off and on. Now this is all well and good, and the next step is going to be more physical. Tomorrow I get cleared , hopefully, by the Nurse practitioner to move from liquids and purees ( which is still liquid only disgusting), to what is known as stage 4 . The stage 4 diet includes soft meats ( like pulled pork, fish, ground beef, shredded chicken etc.) mashed vegetables, ( I pity the fool that keeps me from some mashed potatoes, just once lol) eggs, ( yes scrambled eggs is a joy I will experience.) etc. 
  Now if it seems I am overjoyed at the prospect of eating something with some solidity to it, well yes it is true. After 2 weeks of nothing but liquids, you would go nuts. You cant eat nuts however. 
  There are three things that have kept me sane, my wife taking time off to be home with me has been just a godsend. To be alone and going through this all day would have been just unbearable. The second thing is the weight loss. To get up every day and see the scale drop almost two pounds, is beyond the normal happy feeling, you get from almost anything else, at least for me in this context. 
   It really makes you happy to see this weight literally falling off of you thanks to the surgery and the fact you are taking in about 400 calories per day or 5 times less than a normal weight person is recommended to take in daily. 
   Third on the list is a weird one. Sugar free Jello, and sugar free Cool whip. Yes not Lite Cool Whip, but sugar free. If you look in your grocers freezer its there, it is not the easiest to find, but it is there. The Sugar free Jello, gives you the illusion on solidity , at least for a short time, and it gives you some "mouth feel."  While the Sugar Free Cool Whip actually lets you feel like you are having something decadent. It is a funny product because it has almost zero taste to it. But it has the creaminess that Cool Whip is known for. Tie these three things together and you can make it through the rough period of two weeks of nothing but liquids, well yes Jello counts as a liquid. 
   Thankfully I have only had a few, hiccups along the way in these two weeks. One thing you figure out is that if you drink too fast or too much you will hear about it. I seriously mean that, you will be visited by three ghosts ( sorry Mr. Dickens), The first is the Ghost of the weird noises. Your stomach will make noises they can hear on a listening post in Bora-Bora. It's like whales moved in to your colon and decided to sing the entire works of Beethoven at a high volume. 
   This is a warning song, should you  not listen to it the second ghost will come, the Ghost of Intense Gastric Pains. You will feel like your stomach is eating itself, well what little of it is left that is. It is very painful, it feels like intense hunger only multiplied by a scale of 20. It is not fun. If you have reached this point then ghost number three always follows Ghost number 2. Ghost number 3 is the Ghost of the toilet screaming. WARNING the following paragraph is graphic in nature and may upset the sensibilities of those with a weak constitution.  
   The Ghost of toilet screaming is of course a Euphemism for evacuating all the liquid in your stomach and colon out of your butt at extreme velocity and pressure. If you have to do this in say a public bathroom, you would probably be greeted with sounds of , "oh my god!", Is that a human? and someone call 911! This is all associated with what is known as dumping syndrome, or dumping for short. It can also be associated with rapid heart rate, flushed skin, dizziness and nausea. Thankfully I have learned to  drink slower and not overdo it. 
  Now tomorrow I get to start relearning this all over again with solid food. 
  SO i think that's where we will leave this. I know that literally on the way home from the doctors tomorrow me and the wife are going to stop and get some Indian food, ( soft meats, mushy veg, absolutely perfect) Chicken vindaloo  yay! lol. See you all soon, Thank you for being part of my support team, I love you all!

Here's my ending cartoon. 

.............Gotta get ahead...Ache?

   Welcome all my blog friends to another edition of , well, this blog of course. Not sure where that was meant to go, but it sure stalled. Well, I know you're just giddy with anticipation over how I am doing at this point. So let me say, well, I'm OK.  Not great, and not horrible. It is hard getting in all the liquids that you have to when you realize that that receptacle you're pouring those fluids into is now the size of a large straw. 
   So you try and you fit in the horse pill sized chew-able vitamins twice a day and the icky tasting calcium  tablets the size of half dollars as well, and those you cant have within  like 3 to 4 hours of the vitamins, so figure out that math. Add in the 64 ounces of liquid, and 60 to 70 grams of protein you have to have and its difficult to do without pain or discomfort. 
     I wanted to show you yet another picture of that amazing bed that transforms itself into a chair.
            

    Now thankfully the gas pains and weird hunger like pains which i associate with Gastritis, probably just due to the  removal of a large piece of stomach from the rest of it, have dropped in frequency, they haven't stopped but they aren't 24/7  like they were. Of course when things get better something has to get worse. Well first a few of my incisions aren't looking so wonderful, I've been using an antiseptic wash and using an antibiotic ointment on them recently to help but a few just don't look so good. Now since they are sealed with medical glue its not like i can blame it on sutures or anything those are all inside deep. 
    So I have to contact my surgical team first thing tomorrow. The worst however, was Saturday  morning about 6 AM i was awakened out of a sound sleep by one of the single most devastating headaches I have ever had. I removed myself tot he living room recliner and sat in darkness trying to get my head on straight. Which did not work. Now i knew i could take a Vicodin, but i had already stopped taking them the day before so i did not want to start again due to their propensity for lowering the respiratory function. So I know i cannot take aspirin nor any other NSAID, like naproxen or ibuprofen, they are absolute no-no's to a post surgery bariatric patient. 
   Well this headache literally had me on my knees tearing up like a baby. I literally started to wonder if I was having an aneurysm or a stroke. Thankfully neither was correct. After a series of cold compresses, my wife went to CVS up the street and got some liquid Tylenol.  It does not taste good, but It certainly helped. After an hour i was finally able to function, as of now I dread going to bed for fear that this headache might return. I don't know if it was dehydration? or Sleep-Apnea related or if it was a combination of things, although 
   I am leaning toward the perfect storm of multiple things all driving one powerful headache. I posted on the Bariatric pal forums and several other people mentioned they have had the same and they had been told they were due in part to the not taking in food for a several days and things associated with your body getting used to not having what it is used to having. I will of course mention it to the surgeon as well, if I can get some migraine meds that are allowed, if any, I would be happier just in case. 
  So things are to the point where food just dominates my thoughts. This stage that I am at is called Stage three and therefore I am on the stage three diet.  Basically it consists of liquids, ( you must get as close to 64 ounces per day as possible) mostly water or i like vitamin water. no caffeine no carbonation, no sugar. Which leaves so much to the imagination right? Well when i get clearance to go to stage four diet I will be able to incorporate eggs into my diet, which trust me, scrambled egg will be like the finest french meal ever. Haute cuisine will be nothing compared to this. 
  The other addition will be soft meats. Well what is soft meats, well tuna fish
 ( not whole tuna) mixed with some light mayonnaise is allowable, no bread however. Flaky type white fish, no breading, and I will be able to try some things like chili, and pulled pork, and maybe even ground beef turkey and chicken. I know I have dreams about eating some ground turkey sausage. 
Hopefully my nutritionist will allow me at least the scrambled egg for Christmas. We shall see.  
  Funny thing is my co workers in Hanover are having a Christmas pancake breakfast tomorrow morning and Since I am not taking pain meds anymore i was cleared to drive, so I am thinking about getting up early and showing up to say hello and to say merry Christmas and to thank them for the wonderful flowers and balloons and their support as well.
  Well I think that is enough for now. I hope you enjoyed it , see you all soon and i'll try to get another blog post up on my birthday the 23rd, tomorrow. lol 
P.S. You don't realize how many commercials and tv shows on tv deal with food until you want that food lol. 

Heres my cartoon for today, it explains a lot of what I am doing this for.

....................... Day 1 of the Days of our lives.

So hello all, I am back. Yes back from the hospital. Back from surgery, back from removing an organ I was pretty familiar with. By choice even. The day started out a bit rough, we had to wait in the pre op holding area for two hours, because there were some surgical needs that pushed us back. It is tough to get yourself ready  mentally,  and then have to wait. It is not a good thing. Eventually we got in and after donning thigh high anti-embolism stockings, ( white just isn't my color but they didn't have black fishnets.) Now since i have a history of bad IV's I made it a prime point to tell everyone involved about that. Well it worked they got a special Nurse Practitioner to com down and first she gave me some numbing agent then the IV went in nice and easy. One huge anxiety out of my anxiety list. The surgery was like blinking of course one second your a little tipsy feeling the next you're in recovery. Which is not a bad thing.
     One thing that amazed me, from recovery onward I was in the same bed. No switching around beds here and there. This was a first class over sized air inflatable bed that slowly moves the air around under you to relieve any sore spots. To make it even better this bed..is a transformer! Yes I am serious. This bed actually lifts you up, down, and all over to turn itself and you into a chair. Here are a few pictures to show you what I mean.
     

Here is a pic of One of my nurses. What was great is the bariatric patients are given to nurses with no more than a total of 3 patients. so that you get a lot of extra care. My  nurses were exemplary. From Mary ann in preop, to Chris in recovery, to Annie and Kevin on the floor.  Just the best, they really impressed me. Here is a picture of Annie.
 

So the surgery itself went well, they didn't do a hernia repair as they viewed it and decided it was too small to bother with,

Here is a video to show what they did o. No please do not watch if you are squeamish or weak of heart etc.

Well so I have had some jello here at home and sipping vitamin water. I'm going to take a break and relax in my big comfy chair.  Thanks for coming. 

............................Time for theater!

So welcome back everyone. Needless to say the call came through Friday December 12Th That Tuesday December 16th  will be my surgery. We have approval to get this done.
My emotions went from angry and depressed right to scared and anxious. Now its time to get the final preparations, marking up my water bottle...Wait i never explained that..Oh! well lets take a second and explain this. Since you have to take in so much water post surgery, but you can only take it in in small doses. You are constantly sipping water. Well Someone came up with  great idea, take a water bottle and using a sharpie, mark the times of day on the bottle versus where you should be in water.
  Now I saw this months ago but the folks over at Bariatric pal.com  were able to find the pic for me.  Well this weekend I happened to be at target picking up a few last minute gifts for my wife and looking for some yogurt etc. ( BTW) target is a great place to get the jello cups and jello pudding cups, sugar free of course. While there we came across a really nice bottle by  Nalgene, it is graduated with both ml and ounces.  So i bought it. When I got home and looked at the picture again I realized i bought the exact bottle, sans color, of the one used in the picture. So here is the picture of what was created.

 Smart idea huh.
Mine looks  the same although its more of a light green tint.
SO ive got so many thing done, I bought a pill crusher to take my pain meds and other meds with post op. I have to crush them and take them in a teaspoon of yogurt or juice. I have all my vitamins we found also at target which seems to be the only local store that carries Centrum Chewables plus iron. Tomorrow night we have the first shower using anti bacterial Hibiclens, then again the morning of surgery. We also have to do some picture taking for posterity and the measurements. Yes it has been advised to me to have someone I trust ( hope of course) measure my various body parts. Upper arm shoulders, chest, belly, waist upper thigh, lower leg neck etc then when I do hit a plateau i can fall back on the inches i have lost rather than just the pounds themselves to show the changes my body is undergoing.
  Well that's the blog post for now. I think I will have a special video post tomorrow night before the surgery, and hopefully a post right from the hospital after recovery.
Thanks to everyone who helped get me this far. The next step is the biggest.

In Surance Through the Out Door!

Hello everyone,. it has been a little while.  I apologize for that but there is a lot to tell you about so lets get right down to it. I don't have a taste test for you today as I am waiting on  shipments of new products. 
  Now I had hoped to be on by now telling you when my surgical date was and  getting ready for that date. But the walls fell crumbling down. We had put together all the paperwork and you remember the issue I had with my PCP not wanting to give a clearance letter. Well when I was able to speak with him directly, he of course was okay with it. Fast forward a few days we are waiting for final approval from the insurance company, I am a nervous wreck just waiting to hear those words, "You are approved." They would be wonderful. I was at work, my cell phone rang, and picked it up. My surgeons office was on the line, ( here we go I thought, smiling to myself), "Steve, I am afraid the insurance company denied you", and then the world stopped spinning. 
   I had everything planned down to a T. My diet was working, my wife was on board all my coworkers supported me everything was happening, tests being done, just a flurry of activity and then, BANG!,  someone slapped me and woke me up. At first I had this amazing level of sadness and truly wanted to cry.  That sadness quickly was displaced by an intense a feeling of anger as I had ever felt. How Dare They!  Oh I was outraged, who do I call , who's neck do I have to ring! Well after the initial emotional swings the depression kicks in.  I start thinking I am going to look like an ass to all my friends and people who are supporting me in this.  I am going to be fat and a liar. What the heck do I do now. 
   Thankfully my wife managed to somehow get me to some semblance of normalcy. A lot of surgeries are denied at first so then you go through the appeals process and I felt certain that in that appeals process I would win, but there was a very big problem. The company I was working for was being sold. The new company would e taking over Jan 1st and  my benefits would be changing.  
    So now if i didn't get the surgery approved right away, we couldn't bother any more because the surgical date would be after the new insurance company took over and they would require a whole new set of hoops to jump through, and  they might not cover weight loss surgery or maybe they did but wouldn't have my surgeon and team in their "Network." Also if it goes past the year all the money ive had to pay for testing and appointments that goes toward my deductible and maximum out of pocket, would be reset costing me a lot. 
   I want to give you a little background in case I haven't before. My wife has myself and her on her companies health insurance with united healthcare. Well my wife's company specifically excluded coverage for weight loss surgery, so for years there was no way to get this done. Then when I was lucky enough to be hired at my current job,  I decided to take my own insurance on top of the other as a way to get this surgery done. This insurance is a duet between Tufts and Cigna, called care-link. Its a partnership between the two and as a result  it is almost impossible to figure out who does what. 
   The last time i called i was transferred 6 times , 3 times with Tufts and 3 times with Cigna. This care-link plan's pre-certification for surgery is handled by Cigna. Well it appeared that due to us moving up my nutritionists appointment by a few days from December 1st to the end of November we Didn't show 3 months of consecutive weight loss based care. So I had to hot foot it to my PCP to have them weight me in so we could have this appointment for the month of December.  
    This was to be followed up two days later ( last Friday) by a peer to peer phone call between my surgeon and the doctor at Cigna who denied me. SO last Friday I waited by the phone and I got the call. "Steve, they cancelled the peer to peer, and are escalating the new paperwork to the same doctor again he will get back to us either later today or Monday.
    Friday closed out without a call. So Monday i do get the call and i now need to go see the nutritionist to have 3 months with both my pcp and my surgeon. Of course it is in Brighton and it is Wednesday, after which I am meeting with the anesthesia ad surgical teams just in case. Once I do this we will fax that paper over to the insurance company and wait yet again.  So today "Wednesday," is a big day . There is a little happier bit. The  company I work for will have one more month of benefits before switching so we now have more time to have this done, although I will take a financial hit. Also the benefit packages we have to choose from will be offered by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas. Who does indeed have my surgeon on their network. So it is not quite as bad as it was, I will let you all know how this turns out. Stay Tuned!

 I leave you today with another comic strip.

........Thankful or Thank FULL?

    Hello all, welcome back to the fun and excitement that is my blog. I hope you all enjoy it, and of course we are just getting started.  
So I know you are wondering what happened with my PCP. Well  it turns out we needed that clearance letter after all or my entire surgery would be jeopardized or not happen at all.  I called my doctor and left messages with his secretaries asking for a callback from the doctor. I called at 9 am when the opened and again at 12 noon and 2 pm, and still never got the call back. 
   So the next morning again at 9 am i called in and this time i spoke to the doctor directly. I explained that I didn't need a referral just a letter saying that I was medically okay to have this surgery as far as he was concerned. 
   He then agreed to write it for me. So now ALL the paperwork is in and we are just waiting for the insurance company to give us the final thumbs up. 
 So that is that for now.
 With that said, here is today's taste test. 

  Now this being my last Thanksgiving prior to surgery, I am stretching my diet a bit just for the day. No worries though I will not undo  all that I have done. I would like to mention I had my final meeting prior to surgery with my Nutritionist. Now the last meting i had was with Kelsey, she was the fill in nutritionist, this time we got much more in detail about what will happen after surgery. We went over my vitamins and need to get in at least 70 grams of protein per day as well as 48 to 72 ounces of water per day. We went over choices and foods i should look at for when I hit stage 2 and 3. 
   Sorry, I should explain that. Stage 1 is the first few days after surgery. It is nothing but water, no shakes etc. just for a few days, to let the staples set and the incision line  where they removed most of the stomach heal a bit. Stage 2 is liquids  including protein shakes.
      This will last about two weeks then I go back in to see the surgeon and the nutritionist and they will evaluate my nutrition levels, and blood levels etc and decided if we progress to stage 3, a puree type stage, where  yogurts,  hummus etc can be started. 
      What is interesting is that you are basically causing your body to go into starvation. You keep away the bad parts of starvation with the daily multi vitamins, and the daily calcium tablets and of course the protein. 
     Those of you who have ever seen Survivor, the TV show not the band. Well you may remember how the castaways would continuously complain about not having any energy. They were lethargic, felt nausea and dizziness. Well that is the same state we are sort of shooting for. When you consider the size of my stomach after the surgery will be big enough to hold about 1/2 cup of liquid or food, you realize the extent of what is being done. 
    My nutritionist pulled out a set of plastic measuring scoops, the kind you use to bake with etc. When you look at how small a 1/2 cup scoop is, the realization of this endeavor really hits you. Now at a point much further down the road say a year after the surgery I may be able to fit a cup full rather than a 1/2 cup and that is why the maintenance is lifelong. Here is something you may not know about WLS ( weight loss surgery). It doesn't make you lose weight on it's own. Just because you cannot fit a lot does not mean you cannot eat a lot, or eat badly. people do fail at this. Now usually it is because they have not come to terms with this process. People say addiction but I don't use the word because I do not want to give an excuse to how I got fat. There are of course contributing factors and they start you off on the path to getting this way, and your mind does a wonderful job of putting blinders on itself until it is almost too late. 
    Now I know I mentioned before that one of the biggest changes I face is in drinking. I do not mean alcoholic drinking, although that does have to go away for a long time if not forever. I am talking about just drinking liquids. There are some very big changes you have to abide by. Like, no carbonated beverages, ever. I will figure out how to quickly make diet Mountain Dew flat, lol. 
     The reason for this is of course gas. With a normal sized stomach you stomach expands with the gas and then you burp it out, or it escapes in other ways we wont get into at this time. With the sleeve, you would risk rupturing it, and at the very least cause a great deal of pain to yourself and probably just throw it up anyway. 
     The other side to drinking don't is that you cannot drink for 1/2 hour before and 1/2 hour after, meals. The reason is almost the same. If you imagine I have to get in quite a bit of protein and water each day. If I drink with a meal I will fill the sleeve with liquid and not enough protein, so I would be wasting what I have with empty useless stuff. Getting enough water in is a very tough thing for many people after this surgery. You cannot just swallow a mouthful of water. You have to slowly sip it, ( and no straws please, you suck in air with straws, please see the section about gas above). A 4 oz portion of protein shake is to be eaten or drank I guess, over the course of 1/2 to 1 whole hour.  It is a very daunting task. Try it for yourself go get two small glasses with openings wide enough for you to get a teaspoon in. fill one with 4 ounces of water. Then take your teaspoon and slowly move the water from the full glass to the empty one, over the course of an hour. This is quite tedious, and people tell stories of when they finally gave up and tried to take a gulp of water. Besides having to get plenty of paper towels to clean the spray off the walls, the pain was enough to not do it again. Well not at least on purpose anyway. One of the people at my favorite spot on the net. Bariatricpal.com , had an idea where you mark your water bottle with a sharpie to show how much you should have been drinking at what time. Great idea, I will surely do it.I guess they make a water bottle with a timer on it but that's probably excessive.    
       Before I go I would to say I am thankful for all of you. I am thankful for my wife who is the most supportive person in the world. Everyday she helps me keep a positive frame of mind and keeps me moving forward. I am thankful for my In laws, who have always been there for me in many ways. I am thankful for my friends who always have my back. I am thankful for my co-workers who are always interested in what is going on with my surgery and with providing me an atmosphere that I can succeed in and are flexible with my schedule enough so that I can take the time I need to have this surgery. 

******************HAPPY THANKSGIVING ********
                                         To You All!

And now for today's Quote, another cartoon all about those Christmas early stores!

..............PCP isnt just a drug anymore.

Hi all, it's me. I know you're thinking,"Why is he back so soon?" Well ok, you're probably not thinking that. If you've followed my blog you know why I am here. 
So anyway, Today I had my big meeting with my surgeon and the nurse practitioner at St. Elizabeth's hospital. 
   
 The first news is good news. I surpassed my weight loss goal by 6 pounds. That made the doctor happy, and the Nurse practitioner happy, and heck officially it made me happy. Heree is a shot in the arm for you blog watchers.  My surgeon came up with the idea of doing a monthly ask the Surgeon Q and A piece in my blog. Bascially once i month i will take questions from people and he will pick one and I will print his response. I am very excited about this. 
   So no taste test today but I do have a short video for you. I hope you enjoy it. 

                                                           
  That's the new food pyramid for my post surgical life. Well at least a while of it anyway.  
Here's the rest of the story, because I have some issues regarding an upcoming probable change in benefits, we are in a time constraint regarding the surgery. My surgeon knows this and is working with me to move fast. We still had to do all the tests and everything, but me losing the weight as fast as I have has given us some leverage. 
   
His team that deals with the insurance, (great people by the way) asked me to see if I could get the office notes from my primary care physician (PCP) for the past two years and a letter saying there was no reason he could think of medically why I shouldn't be a good candidate for Bariatric surgery. 
   
Well I've had my PCP for nigh on 20 years. I knew I would have no problems with this request. So on the way home from the surgeon, I drove to the doctors office to see what I could do. Sure they gave me the office notes but then there was a problem. 
    
 My PCP who had been pretty much a friend for years, refused to write the letter. Not for any medical reason, but because his practice is affiliated with a different hospital than the one i'm having my surgery in. The hospital he is affiliated with couldn't get me in to their program for 9 months at a minimum and I would have to have had all my tests done in Boston, a good distance from my home, and expensive to park and more expensive in general. Also the surgeon I chose has done over 100 sleeves, and theirs is not as experienced. 

  So we have to go on without his letter and now it is all in the hands of the insurance company. As soon as we hear from them, the date will be set and two weeks before the surgery I will meet the anesthesia team at St Elizabeths and then we have liftoff. 
  All in all it was a good day. One day closer to the next chapter in my life. I often thank people here, today I would like to thank my coworkers. Especially those who work directly with me. They have never once complained about me taking time here or there, today actually was an even swap since i covered other hours for another member of my team so it's great how we all even it out.  I have to thank them however for being who they are and being supportive of me. Thank you.


I think since it is such a good day I will end this with a cartoon.

......................Rub a Dub Dub, I got a rancid tub?

Hello all, welcome to another installment of..well my blog. Thank you for coming. SO i know what your thinking, whats up with this posts title? Well i'll tell you exactly what it is all about right after these taste tests.

                     
                                                         

                                                         

                                                                     

So now that's over. Ok ok I'm getting there. So My regular morning and more likely lunch shake was so good I bought a second tub online. Well i got it  about a week ago and i finally opened yesterday. I brought some powder to work poured my mik in and took a sip and promptly ran to the sink and spit it out. It was sooooo bad. Well i figured the milk wa bad so i threw that small quart out and today i brought in two shakes since i had to work early. Well i went to have my first and absolutely disgusting again. SO i thought maybe the cup was the problem and I used my other cup and tried again, still ungodly terrible. So when i got home I called the manufacturer and they are sending me a out a new tub free of charge. I even smelled this one and its disgusting. So then i find out these powders do occasionally go rancid because of the proteins. Go Figure.

  Well so i thought I would tell you about a really interesting thing that happened to me. I had been selling some action figures on facebook. A woman contacted me and asked to buy a few so we met and did the exchange. Now I had noticed that this woman had lost like 40 pounds or so. Well when she saw that I was going to have this surgery she send me a message that she would like me to meet her wellness coach. Well of course i declined, she said oh its real easy and quick, i declined again and went on my way. Well today i get a message again from her about meeting with her wellness coach and her on a 3 way conference call. Now i'm getting mad, but still i politely decline. Then again she contacts me and I am done. So one last time I am polite but i insist . SO it stops for now, hopefully it wont happen again. The moral of the story is, Why do people think their way of doing something is going to the way everybody can do it? People used to say there is nothing worse to a smoker than an ex-smoker because they are so pushy about not smoking. 
  I have to say people who lose some weight are horrible to people who are trying to lose in a different way. A person on the forums I post on a lot on, told me the story where when she mentioned having to lose a large amount of weight and having the surgery to get a start, her friend responded by saying she knew what she was going through because she had been trying to lose the same 7 pounds for years.  Wow, seriously. 
  Anyway, well tomorrow is the big day. I meet with my surgeon for my weigh in and hopefully shortly thereafter i will have my surgical date. I am anxious, nervous and excited all at once. I will be sure to post the results of the meeting tomorrow night. My wife Hope is coming with me as well. We are meeting at St Elizabeth's Hospital in Brighton, which is also known as St Elsewhere, as in the model for the famous 80's TV show starring Americas Got Talent host/judge  Howie Mandel. Well let see what tomrrow brings shall we. Good night and come back to see what happens...

Here is this posts Quote.


 Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.” 
― Jarod Kintz 

................Chair Leading Squad...........

Welcome back my friends, I would like to take some time to briefly go over a time that is very important in the lives of Bariatric patients. The time I refer to is what I call the epiphany moment, yes I know that is redundant.
But before we get into that lets take a look at a few taste tests shall we.

             


                                                              and then there is this one

 So there's that. It was very nice of Syntrax to send me all these samples. Some companies have sent me samples and it's definitely a great help in losing so far. Now I know many people have told me that their tastes changed drastically immediately after surgery, I am hoping that doesn't happen to me.

    Now I started to talk about that epiphany moment. The moment when you realize your weight is running your life, and you need help to take back the control.  I asked some of the people over at Bariatricpal.com  about their epiphany moments and here is a small compilation of those moments. I will leave out the names for privacy reasons.

     First I will start off. For me it was in my doctors office. I went in for what i figured was pneumonia , yet again. I will preface that by saying  I get pneumonia a lot, a lot of it is due to a surgery I had for sleep apnea. The surgery is called a UPPP  which stands for Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty . It has to do with cutting out parts of the back of your mouth including removal of the uvula. 
 Well anyway I was in my doctors office, coughing  etc, and i had to stand on the scale to get weighed. Just a routine thing. Well i weighed in at 408 pounds. i stepped off and made them check the scale. It was right. I was stunned, one of the things people say is " how did you get that fat, didn't they know it." Well here is your answer.  No, you do not realize it until its too late. Well this  hurt so bad i started changing, and slowly i got myself down to the 361 starting weight  prior to the this pre-op diet phase. Here now are a few other stories.

Anonymous #1

I cracked a chair at a baby shower I hosted at someones house. I just pretended to stand and "present" for the rest of the shower and visit instead of sitting. Nobody noticed and I never told anyone. I was horrified. I never even told the lady that owned the house. I wonder how and when she found out about the chair and if she thought it was me that did it. She never said anything... but I have to do this surgery. I often dream of the things I could do with my kids. No more hiding. I want to LIVE this life!

Anonymous #2 

I had thought about doing the surgery for quite some time, since my weight seemed to just increase more and more, even though I was doing the diet thing, the gym thing, the OTC diet pill thing, and more. As all this was going on, each time I went to see my PCP, she seemed to discover something new...high blood pressure, arthritis, high cholesterol, and more...I think the final straw for me was when I heard the word DIABETES...I saw how that had affected my family, and how I think it contributed to me losing my mother. I didn't want to abandon my family and have them deal with any suffering, so I think that was my defining moment.  
Now I'm happy to say that I am no longer pre-diabetic, nor do I have any issues with cholesterol or blood pressure...this was truly life-saving for me!


Anonymous #3 

I was at a wedding this past spring that was held outdoors. Folding chairs and the huskier among us do not mesh. I made a fair attempt at doing some sort of shaolin monk partial sit/partial leg squat maneuver over the chair for the whole ceremony so as to not crash through that puppy during the vows. Not sure if anyone noticed, but it was uncomfortable and had me feeling less than proud of myself. Had a "what are you doing with your life" moment at that point. Realized that my previous efforts were coming up short, started looking into the band, and ultimately realized the sleeve was a good option for me. I had always thought that even though I was extremely overweight (BMI >50) I still wasn't weight-loss-surgery-overweight. Not really sure why or how I had convinced myself of that, but the decorative white folding chair respectfully disagreed. Shortly after that I came around as well. 



So as you can see there are many differences in why we all got to the same point. Why am I bringing this up? Well my goal besides the weight loss , is to help other men with information and the facts they need to get over the stigma of weight loss surgery.  The surgery doesn't make the decisions for you, it doesn't lose the weight. You still have to do that yourself, but the surgery will give you a helping hand..or  sleeve in this case.

 Now i think i mentioned this Thursday is the big day when I meet my surgeon again to get that final go ahead underway. My wife Hope, will be coming with me to meet my surgeon and ask any questions she may have. I know i still have a few, some about things like painkillers,  since after the surgery you can only swallow clear liquids, how do you administer any pain meds and nausea meds, ( nausea is common after this type of surgery.) maybe they use a patch or a liquid. Heck  medicinal pot would probably work, although i have no idea how that would affect the newly stitched up sleeve, not that we can even get that yet anyway. 
   So I am hoping that this is a great day. I will be sure to post that night afterward so you all will now where i stand. If the surgeon gives the go ahead, then we just have to file the pre-certification paperwork with my insurance company, and once that comes back, we get our date, unless we get it on Thursday and the do the paperwork after, I am not sure which. I am very very ready to get this going, this process is such a long one. I started this ball rolling in March, and we still do not have a surgery date. Others have had to wait years for this to be finalized. 
  I would like to post a shout out to Laurrie Sostman, I know I have mentioned how much My in-laws mean to me, and Laurrie just had cataract surgery the other day , and from what i hear it was a rough one, with a good amount of pain after the fact. We sent her some soup, (yes you can get soup delivered by mail look it up its a great service.) and we want her back on her feet reading my blog as soon as possible, she is one of my most fervent backers and I love her dearly. 
 Okay I think that is enough of your time for now, thank you for coming and here is the quote for today's post:

Dieting is not a piece of cake. ~Author Unknown

.................I'm Not Hungry I'll Just Sample

Welcome again. This is just a small post before tomorrows post because I felt like writing a bit. It has been a very very busy week at work. One of those if anything can go wrong it will kind of weeks. I have not cheated though so I am happy about that. I have been working some food , more protein in some meats into my diet and I have leveled off nicely and held it for 4 days. Coming up next Thursday at St. Elizabeth's Hospital is my next and biggest meeting with my Surgeon. This is the one that should set up my surgery date. No taste test today that is coming tomorrow. I do however have a video that I would like to show you. I think you will like it. Either that or you might try to have me locked up in the insane asylum.

       
 So more on that tomorrow morning.  Now one thing is with these fruit flavors, milk probably isn't the greatest idea. So i use Turkey Hill Diet Decaf Iced tea for the liquid, and pieces of frozen fruit when i make a smoothie rather than a shake, I also add at least a teaspoon full of benefiber the tasteless instantly dissolving one, it helps keep you full and also help thing..um.. move along the way they are supposed to. Let's just say  high high protein diets test to make things, slow down you could use regular diet iced tea if you wish.  
   With the help of some of the guys on bariatricpal.com I will be putting together  top 5 reasons or events that led to someone having bariatric surgery. 
Now here is something you don't think of much but of course the holidays are coming up. Now thanksgiving has always been fun, except after ,my mother died years back the family sort of fell apart. Then after my dads death, it fractured a lot of what was left. I am making it a resolution that after the surgery and when i have a handle on this weight, I will try to reconnect with some of my family. My cousins, who have always done right by me, you know who you are. Two of my female cousins who i like to think we used to be close, live close by and have beautiful families. I miss them. My male cousins a few who i lived with even for awhile, and spent many years with, I miss them too. It's hard when you're close in distance but somehow never close enough right? I watched my mother die of cancer. I watched not as close up but still, two of my uncles, one my godfather and namesake, born on the same day as me 30 years apart, die of cancer. The other uncle who was my communion sponsor and just a really great guy die of cancer as well. I'll tell you a quick story. The second uncle i mentioned is the heart of this story. We had gone on vacation to New Jersey to Six Flags Great Adventure theme park. The whole family so my family and 3 sets of aunts uncles and cousins as well. We made a convoy down to NJ. Well one night while we were there we all went and ate at a chain restaurant. On the way out my uncle noticed they had these big  5 pound bags of peanuts for sale. Well I am 10 years old mind you and as I am walking out, my uncle hands me one of these bags and says " hey, bring this out to the car for me." SO of course I did. Well the joke was on me as he never paid for them. He just laughed . Looking back I'm laughing too. Not sure why I am so maudlin tonight folks. I guess I will leave it at that for tonight. Stay tuned tomorrow another taste test of the new product from the above video, and more about whats up and whats next!
 Now your Quote:

“The Brandy Diet is one of my personal favorites – you don’t lose any weight, but if you drink enough of the stuff then you neither care what you look like nor what people think of you. Also, if you’re very lucky, you can lose days.” 

― Kensington Gore

..........Life Gets In The Weigh..

Hello my friends and welcome. Sit down, relax, now get up and put the dog out, take the laundry downstairs, and clean the bathroom. In case you haven't guessed it, today's post is about how things in life can hinder us in our attempts to accomplish our weight loss goals and especially the sacrifices you have to make and the rules you have to follow after sleeve surgery.
      But first how about a taste test. ( gee I thought you would never ask)

             
                                       Well now another one down. So that's good. There will be many more taste tests soon as the Syntrax company is sending me samples of their Nectar line. I have had one already and I will review it again on video, it was a flavor called fuzzy navel, and it was delicious. I made it with frozen mango pineapple and peaches, and used diet decaf iced tea as the liquid, and wow! Even my wife loved it, she had half for breakfast that day as well. 
  So this week started out, kind of rough and that what I would like to talk about. My wife came home letting me know her car was making a weird clunk like sound in the front end.  The next day we were told it would cost over 900+ dollars to fix. Now I didn't have that amount, and we don't have credit cards due to a bankruptcy and my own vehicle recently required over 700 to fix and that ate our emergency fund. So we were very worried, I put stuff on ebay to sell, and my action figure collection , i figured i would have to end my guitar lessons,  anyway, to make along story short it all worked out in the end thanks to family who reached out and helped us. 
    Now why am I telling you this? Well I wanted to really mention this part. After we had the estimate and the worry and anxiety set in, I thought long and hard about really breaking my diet. I mean like McDonald's fries and big mac's kind of break. Maybe a kit kat and a few Reeses peanut butter cups. Instead I did have a bit of weakness and had a ham sandwich. Which is quite possibly my second favorite food behind the almighty cheeseburger. Having these feelings however, did make me realize that as people we do reach for our anti anxiety fix. Whether it be food, or cigarettes, or alcohol, or hard drugs, or for the healthy people ( i hate you, just kidding) they might read a book, or  (gulp) go for a run, or go to the gym etc. This is what I have to change, this is the hard thing I have to work on, this is the fundamental difference between obesity and health, between fat and fit, between me now, and me later. I am seeing not just how important this is to overcome, how important it will be to my success that I persevere, but that I must also  completely rebuild who I am. 
         I have said in the past that I am literally losing myself by losing half my weight. My surgeon said to me , well you're going to lose a whole persons worth of weight and since that person isn't paying rent, you are better off without them. I know now that he was right in more than just one way.  I will have to figure out who the heck I am. This weight, this body type, this behavior, has always defined me to the outside world, and defined me to, well..me.  
         I have posted several times , and had some great discussions on a website called bariatricpal.com . It is for pre op and post op weight loss surgery patients and for people who just want o know more about it or us.  One of the things that is often discussed is what we all eat now. Some of the both pre and post op responses scare me. I have seen many people who are just not putting everything into it, people making excuses for things they shouldn't be doing or eating. It seems like these are the people who complain after a year because they haven't made it anywhere near their goal.  If we do not give this lifestyle change the proper respect and put in the absurd amount of work involved to succeed, well then we just wont succeed, and we will have no one to blame, but ourselves.

 So with that said i think I will end this post , and here is your quote for the post.

"When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad."

— Janette Barber

...........Second thoughts about Second Thoughts..

Welcome all. It has been a few days since I last saw you all.
   Sometimes work and other issues take precedence. Things like Halloween, for which I went to work as the Phantom of the Opera.
                                              Here's a picture.

            My shift at work has been changed from 12 noon to 8pm to 9:30am to 5:30 pm. Much more normal, but now I have to get a new regime going for my weight loss.
           I love the company I work for, It is truly a progressive company. They have supported me thus far and  are looking forward in helping me going forward. To those of you reading this from work, I say thank you, I love you all!
            My family, is small, but effective, to wit. My In-laws live out of state but they inspire me to do these things to get healthier, to be more. To grow as a person and to not give up. I love them very much.
   Now before we get to some more fun, how about yet another taste test or two? Disregard the caption on the second video, I forgot to change the text.

 

 

So those are two of the Abouttime Products. I will be posting more shortly.





Also I am hoping to have some Syntrax products  to taste test for you soon.
So lets see what else is new.
    Well I would love to tell you about how ready I am. I did indeed get cleared by my mental health person, she is sending a copy of the letter to me and to the weight loss center. I have to join a gym very soon, as diet alone will just plateau off soon. I really need to go into a sort of maintenance mode to keep from gaining but not trying to lose drastically. I am sort of ready, everyday I think about things out of nowhere, I was walking through the grocery store, and we walked by the snack cake display, and suddenly you realize that you are giving up not just some bad foods, but a lot of things that have given you pleasure for so long.
           It is deeply disturbing to think you cant just stop at dunkin donuts and grab a coffee and a donut. To know you're going to have to plan your day around several small drinks and eating very small portions of things forever. A lot of people on several of the forums I visit, will talk about the regrets you have almost immediately after you have the surgery and realize all these changes are now irreversible. I guess it is kind of like buyer's remorse with houses, that feeling of, oh what have I got myself into.
     You really have to be ready for this deep inside ready to get rid of so many things that fat people hide. We hide a lot of pain from people, and yes a heck of a lot from ourselves. From not being picked to participate in sports, ( I am sure you have heard that one before) to the more subtle things like, going to college and having to request a special seat because the stupid seats are too small. Getting in an out of small cars is a comedy waiting to happen. There are the stares in public, and there are much worse but I am not trying to make this into a pity party.
    I know I mentioned recently that I started taking guitar lessons, I had tried this before for a couple of months but let it go due to finances. I have the same teacher 15 years later , which is funny.  Jokingly I talked about this being part of my mid life crisis, along with the surgery. Who knows maybe I am trying to be a different person. I do think though that instead of trying to regain my youth, I am actually trying to gain some of the youth I should've given myself.
  One of the things talked about a lot  is setting goals for yourself regarding this surgery and weight loss. I have mentioned that my goal weight is 170 pounds, and I am currently weighing in ( today) at 340 pounds. So I basically have to cut myself in half.  We'll the reward , besides being healthier and all that comes with it, is to go to Disney. Well It may not be Disney, who knows. Id love to travel with my in laws, who are quite experienced travelers. In talking with them we joked about buying a new car, the epitome of the mid life crisis.
   I talked with my friend Tuck and he said he wants a Porsche, which I can understand. For me, it's a muscle car, One of the newer Ford Mustang, not new I doubt I will see a new car for years thanks to the Bankruptcy. Yeah I didn't mention that, oh well. But A nice used one, would be fun to take the wife out etc. I do dream though huh. Who knows what the future holds.
Well that's it for now. Thank you all for stopping by, I wish you all wealth , love and happiness.
   Here's this episodes Quote...
  
In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

...............Barium?..But I hardly Knew em!

Well, hello again and welcome to the wide wide world of me. Today we have good news, not so good news, medical news, a taste test or two  and more! So stay tuned, same fat channel same fat time!
  Yes I am in a weird mood today. Before we get into that though, let's get to the taste test. Now Along with this video. I did drink the Isopure, apple melon protein drink. As you may recall Isopure makes many flavors and they range from yuck to I can't believe it's not something else. Well let's put the Isopure apple melon in the Yuck Tank. I compare the taste to a jolly rancher apple candy, laced with dirt and rancid cough syrup. Not exactly tasty. Now on to our video of the day!

                            
Well that was enlightening.

Now as you remember today was the day I went for my big tests. The Barium swallow and the Cardiac Stress Test.  Why was I looking forward to these tests? Next time slap me! First up the barium swallow. First I was given a johnnie to wear, even though I was able to keep my clothes on, as I had a very light shirt and workout shorts on. I asked why I needed a Johnnie and well, lets just say some people tend to , um spit up a little. 
   In the testing room there is a table like Frankenstein had standing upright on its edge and you sort of stand on the edge of that table and they put a x-ray machine in front of you and  have you drink stuff.  Here is a great representation:

  Let me say this, I would rather drink the worst protein drink I have taste tested, rather than touch this stuff again. The first batch is the Heavy Barium and you notice they hand you a plastic cup and its very ..um heavy! like a pound at least if not 2. They doctor, told me to take as big a mouthful as I could and hold it, and then when he tells me to swallow I should do so.
  Neither the big mouthful nor the swallowing was pleasant, or even decent. But I did get to watch the monitor and see my upper GI tract. Then you switch positions , still standing, but now you drink the fast barium, it measure speed, and trust me the first stuff was bad, this stuff was bad, with vanilla flavoring added. I almost did not make it down. Well then they hit a button and the whole table thing slowly lies you backward until you are lying on it like a bed. Neat! but the neat wears off and you are now forced to drink while on your side. Now barium is a pale white color, and in this position, I almost repainted the walls a nice off white.
     Finally the doctor hands me a pill and a glass of water and says swallow it. Evidently this is used to measure the width of your esophagus. Except my pill got stuck. it sat on a little ledge just outside my stomach. This ledge is called a hiatal hernia, and its not a good thing. It is when part of the stomach squeezes its way past the hiatus, aka chest wall muscle, and forms a little bubble at the bottom of the esophagus. I kind of thought I had one, now I am sure.   The good news is that it is an easy fix and they will fix it during surgery easy peasy. Oh here is my reaction immediately following the end of the test.
   

 

Now after this lovely experience, came the stress test. Simple enough right , first a nice technician shaved a large area of my chest so I ended up looking like a spotted poodle. Then they apply these self adhesive electrode leads. and the wires, and then a belt  that makes Batman's utility belt feel lightweight. I was talking with the technician while we waited for the doctor. She finds out why I' having the test and that I lost weight already. BTW it's officially 14 pounds by the doctors scale and that's with about 2 pounds of barium still in me. Of course she says, "well why have the surgery if you already lost weight, just keep going."  I am going to use another version of an analogy I used in an earlier post.

                                                 INTERLUDE

  If you are out running and your tired, and you see a small hill coming up, you grin and bear it and fight your way over it. Great, that's losing 20 pounds.  If you were out running and you're tired and you came to the base of a mountain, most people would turn around and run the other way or walk away and not run at all.  This surgery is my Sherpa, it wont carry me over the hill, I still have to do the work, but it will show me the path to take, and all my friends and loved ones and co workers are my climbing gear who help me get to where I need to be.

                                           END OF INTERLUDE

  Back now to the stress test. I am wired up, belted up and I am told the stress test consists of multiple levels of speed and incline. Each level lasts 3 minutes, and at the end of thee minutes the treadmill will raise its incline and its speed until you fly off the back like superman on crack. The goal is t get you to your target heart rate without collapsing or having any cardiac EKG changes. Well my target heart rate is 150 beats per minute. I got to 144. I knew I would have problems with my back trying to walk and then jog and run especially uphill. ( for those who do not know I have a herniated disc L4 -L5 which makes it hard to walk) A lot of hospital test centers will use a stationary bike as an alternative but alas this was not so. The good news, no heart problems or abnormalities. Yay!

      All in all it was a good day.

Well thanks for coming today friends. I love you all, and together we can do this.

Here is today's quote.

 

        No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. ~George Bernard Shaw

        





.......I'm a 5 Percenter!!

Hello Bloggians, Bloggettes? Okay then, Friends let's go with that.
SO before get deeper I know you're interested in my latest Taste test. Well here we are.
   This test is for a MuscleTech product and usually the products made for muscle growth are not what I would be looking for, but this one was recommended to me by a salesperson and they gave me some free sample packets. So let us see whether or not it lives up to it's recommendation.

Well that was not a lot of fun. Free samples or no, I can't see drinking that again.

  The question of the day is what's new? well there is sort of a big deal, remember I posted that on this coming Monday Oct 27th, I am going down to good Samaritan Hospital in Brockton Mass. to have a barium swallow, and cardiac stress test. Well my other goal is that I have to lose 18 pounds prior to the surgeon scheduling the surgery. I had until November 20th to do so.  I weighed in at the start at 361 pounds. Well this morning I weighed on my home scale, which I don't move around and is calibrated daily, at 343 pounds, for a loss of 18 pounds. That's 5% of my body weight, evidently losing that amount is key to shrinking your liver. Obese people are known to have fatty liver syndrome, well this helps to shrink the liver making surgery easier. Now I just have to keep it off. That brings about the decision to finally get my gym membership back. I'm going to go back to Planet Fitness , and so is the wife. I love the late hours as they are open until 11pm weekdays. So I can either go in the mornings or more likely at night after work. It is an especially good fit as for quite awhile I am limited to just the bike or treadmill (bike thanks to my back) and general stretching, no weights or machines except to use for stretching.
     So all in all its a good day. I celebrated with a shake for breakfast a shake for lunch, my guitar lesson, and then a turkey sandwich, with maybe 10 French fries. Tomorrow were going to try a little homemade recipe, im going to dice up some chicken breast marinade in Trader Joe's sweet chili sauce, then I'm going to stir fry that up and serve it with these finely chopped crunchy vegetables, there is radish, cabbage, pepper, onion, jicama and small broccoli pieces, very finely chopped, and I'm going to serve them up and make lettuce wrap with them and serve with some of Trader Joe's dumpling dipping sauce, in small amounts of course. These should be a great low carb Sunday light meal, considering no food after 8pm and no liquids after midnight in preparation for the tests Monday morning. So far the ultra low carb no sugar  thing really does work. I am going to visit my weight loss surgical team on Monday after the tests since they are in the same compound in Brockton, and get an official weigh in, with the hopes that will allow the surgeon to take the next step and book the surgery and get the precertification paperwork completed.
    I am encouraged by the protein shakes, by my ability to live with the changes I have had to make just these two weeks. Now two weeks is not a lifestyle change I know this for sure, but it is a start, and sometimes starting is the hardest part. I will say one of the things they don't tell you is that these protein shakes can, cause things to uh, bind up shall we say. A daily event , took 4 days, and not without some discomfort. Getting past that is just another bump in  the road.
  So until Monday when I will clue everyone in to  what the tests were like, I will say go Patriots, and rather than a quote, I figured you might like this instead:
           

 
                                 
                                    Love you all, together we can do this!

.........Last Meal and Pepsodent.

Hi again all.
 I'm back with some more taste tests and a few words that my brain insists I put down. Now you may notice a few design changes, I thought the old look was a bit dreary, if you like the old way better, drop me a line, or just leave a comment at the bottom of any entry! Also you can now sign your email address at the top of the page and you will be notified whenever I publish a new entry! Now on to today's taste test.
    I know  you are thinking , "how many taste tests will he do?" the answer is... More. Yes there are more to go, perhaps many more. I am expecting to hear from the folks at About Time , they said they were sending some samples my way and I hope to do a series of taste test of their products soon.  First up let's look at another shall we.....

Okay now that's out of the way. I often go to a website called Bariatric Pal, ( www.bariatricpal.com)  It is the worlds largest gathering  online of pre and post bariatric surgical patients out there, as well as people just thinking about it.
    Now one of the big theme I have come across is hiding your surgery. Yes hiding the fact you are having bariatric surgery. Now I know there is a stigma attached to the surgery, people who do not know about it, think it's cheating or a cop out. Basically they do not know the sacrifices you have to make, and that you still have to do the work yourself.
    These stigma's are worse for men, Woman seem to understand more and even applaud, for instance you see celebrities go on Oprah, or The View etc. and  talk about their surgery. Men you see them  bring it up once then let it go.  However; these woman seem to by a huge margin hide the surgery from friends coworkers even in some cases family members. So I asked why, and here is what was said, a number of women said it was private etc. several said they felt it put stress on them to achieve ( I think there should be and if you cant take responsibility now, how will you do it after?) and not to fail. Here is the weird part the men on the site ( very few still) all agreed with me that they shared it with anyone and everyone.
   So even though the stigma on men being so blatant, and the number of surgeries on men so much lower than on women, but men are much more open about the surgery. Interesting.
  I wanted to talk about why. Yes as in why I am doing this. I am doing this to live, to be able to walk more than 20 yards without being out of breath again. To never have to shop in the big and tall section, and settle for a certain type of clothes, to never wonder if I would fit in a seat when I go out to a movie. To not have to buy two airline tickets and reserve the seatbelt extender. To not be stared at by so many people in public. Those stares hurt more than you can imagine.
   We have a big week next week, my barium swallow and stress test are on Monday, and I get my Mental health clearance on Tuesday. Basically the last two big pieces in this puzzle. You know my wife Hope, asked me what my last meal would be before the surgery, kind of a one last splurge probably two days before surgery. So many things come to mind, some of my all time favorites like homemade lasagna, ham and cheese sandwich , hot dogs, chicken broccoli ziti alfredo, etc. When it comes down to it, it will probably be breakfast at donut king in Weymouth, with at least one chocolate frosted donut. Lunch would be five guys, the single best burgers and fries on the east coast hands down. Dinner will be something  nice with the wife, maybe a glass of wine and something to remember. I will have to make it the day before the day before surgery, as I don't want that food on my breath the next morning, after all no liquids at all after midnight the night before, so no brushing your teeth either. No Pepsodent to the rescue.
   Now I know many moons after the surgery it is possible to eat these things again, just in very very small portions.
  So what else is happening besides the tests coming up? Well I will announce today I weighed in at 346.2 pounds. That's down from 361 two weeks ago. Now I have to add in a two pound clothing allowance, so I consider this a 12 to 13 pound loss.  I have to lose 18 before November 22 to push the final button for the surgery. I know that I can do this.
   It is also time to join a gym. I have looked at several places. Some of my awesome co-workers are trying to get a group discount to the YMCA next to our work. I would love this, as they have pools, aqua-cise, sauna, hot tub etc, and it would allow me to workout before work and not have to go to work reeking of a workout. If that does not work there is a place in Weymouth that recently opened and I think would be my backup plan.
   I will be testing another new product tomorrow and again on Friday. I'll post the next entry on Friday as well. Until then I say  thank you for reading and taking this journey with me. Be safe.

I leave you with today's quote.

“I don't want to wake up dead tomorrow and realize I didn't even try.
― Ryan E. Day