But first how about a taste test. ( gee I thought you would never ask)
Well now another one down. So that's good. There will be many more taste tests soon as the Syntrax company is sending me samples of their Nectar line. I have had one already and I will review it again on video, it was a flavor called fuzzy navel, and it was delicious. I made it with frozen mango pineapple and peaches, and used diet decaf iced tea as the liquid, and wow! Even my wife loved it, she had half for breakfast that day as well.
So this week started out, kind of rough and that what I would like to talk about. My wife came home letting me know her car was making a weird clunk like sound in the front end. The next day we were told it would cost over 900+ dollars to fix. Now I didn't have that amount, and we don't have credit cards due to a bankruptcy and my own vehicle recently required over 700 to fix and that ate our emergency fund. So we were very worried, I put stuff on ebay to sell, and my action figure collection , i figured i would have to end my guitar lessons, anyway, to make along story short it all worked out in the end thanks to family who reached out and helped us.
Now why am I telling you this? Well I wanted to really mention this part. After we had the estimate and the worry and anxiety set in, I thought long and hard about really breaking my diet. I mean like McDonald's fries and big mac's kind of break. Maybe a kit kat and a few Reeses peanut butter cups. Instead I did have a bit of weakness and had a ham sandwich. Which is quite possibly my second favorite food behind the almighty cheeseburger. Having these feelings however, did make me realize that as people we do reach for our anti anxiety fix. Whether it be food, or cigarettes, or alcohol, or hard drugs, or for the healthy people ( i hate you, just kidding) they might read a book, or (gulp) go for a run, or go to the gym etc. This is what I have to change, this is the hard thing I have to work on, this is the fundamental difference between obesity and health, between fat and fit, between me now, and me later. I am seeing not just how important this is to overcome, how important it will be to my success that I persevere, but that I must also completely rebuild who I am.
I have said in the past that I am literally losing myself by losing half my weight. My surgeon said to me , well you're going to lose a whole persons worth of weight and since that person isn't paying rent, you are better off without them. I know now that he was right in more than just one way. I will have to figure out who the heck I am. This weight, this body type, this behavior, has always defined me to the outside world, and defined me to, well..me.
I have posted several times , and had some great discussions on a website called bariatricpal.com . It is for pre op and post op weight loss surgery patients and for people who just want o know more about it or us. One of the things that is often discussed is what we all eat now. Some of the both pre and post op responses scare me. I have seen many people who are just not putting everything into it, people making excuses for things they shouldn't be doing or eating. It seems like these are the people who complain after a year because they haven't made it anywhere near their goal. If we do not give this lifestyle change the proper respect and put in the absurd amount of work involved to succeed, well then we just wont succeed, and we will have no one to blame, but ourselves.
So with that said i think I will end this post , and here is your quote for the post.
"When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad."
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