...............Barium?..But I hardly Knew em!

Well, hello again and welcome to the wide wide world of me. Today we have good news, not so good news, medical news, a taste test or two  and more! So stay tuned, same fat channel same fat time!
  Yes I am in a weird mood today. Before we get into that though, let's get to the taste test. Now Along with this video. I did drink the Isopure, apple melon protein drink. As you may recall Isopure makes many flavors and they range from yuck to I can't believe it's not something else. Well let's put the Isopure apple melon in the Yuck Tank. I compare the taste to a jolly rancher apple candy, laced with dirt and rancid cough syrup. Not exactly tasty. Now on to our video of the day!

                            
Well that was enlightening.

Now as you remember today was the day I went for my big tests. The Barium swallow and the Cardiac Stress Test.  Why was I looking forward to these tests? Next time slap me! First up the barium swallow. First I was given a johnnie to wear, even though I was able to keep my clothes on, as I had a very light shirt and workout shorts on. I asked why I needed a Johnnie and well, lets just say some people tend to , um spit up a little. 
   In the testing room there is a table like Frankenstein had standing upright on its edge and you sort of stand on the edge of that table and they put a x-ray machine in front of you and  have you drink stuff.  Here is a great representation:

  Let me say this, I would rather drink the worst protein drink I have taste tested, rather than touch this stuff again. The first batch is the Heavy Barium and you notice they hand you a plastic cup and its very ..um heavy! like a pound at least if not 2. They doctor, told me to take as big a mouthful as I could and hold it, and then when he tells me to swallow I should do so.
  Neither the big mouthful nor the swallowing was pleasant, or even decent. But I did get to watch the monitor and see my upper GI tract. Then you switch positions , still standing, but now you drink the fast barium, it measure speed, and trust me the first stuff was bad, this stuff was bad, with vanilla flavoring added. I almost did not make it down. Well then they hit a button and the whole table thing slowly lies you backward until you are lying on it like a bed. Neat! but the neat wears off and you are now forced to drink while on your side. Now barium is a pale white color, and in this position, I almost repainted the walls a nice off white.
     Finally the doctor hands me a pill and a glass of water and says swallow it. Evidently this is used to measure the width of your esophagus. Except my pill got stuck. it sat on a little ledge just outside my stomach. This ledge is called a hiatal hernia, and its not a good thing. It is when part of the stomach squeezes its way past the hiatus, aka chest wall muscle, and forms a little bubble at the bottom of the esophagus. I kind of thought I had one, now I am sure.   The good news is that it is an easy fix and they will fix it during surgery easy peasy. Oh here is my reaction immediately following the end of the test.
   

 

Now after this lovely experience, came the stress test. Simple enough right , first a nice technician shaved a large area of my chest so I ended up looking like a spotted poodle. Then they apply these self adhesive electrode leads. and the wires, and then a belt  that makes Batman's utility belt feel lightweight. I was talking with the technician while we waited for the doctor. She finds out why I' having the test and that I lost weight already. BTW it's officially 14 pounds by the doctors scale and that's with about 2 pounds of barium still in me. Of course she says, "well why have the surgery if you already lost weight, just keep going."  I am going to use another version of an analogy I used in an earlier post.

                                                 INTERLUDE

  If you are out running and your tired, and you see a small hill coming up, you grin and bear it and fight your way over it. Great, that's losing 20 pounds.  If you were out running and you're tired and you came to the base of a mountain, most people would turn around and run the other way or walk away and not run at all.  This surgery is my Sherpa, it wont carry me over the hill, I still have to do the work, but it will show me the path to take, and all my friends and loved ones and co workers are my climbing gear who help me get to where I need to be.

                                           END OF INTERLUDE

  Back now to the stress test. I am wired up, belted up and I am told the stress test consists of multiple levels of speed and incline. Each level lasts 3 minutes, and at the end of thee minutes the treadmill will raise its incline and its speed until you fly off the back like superman on crack. The goal is t get you to your target heart rate without collapsing or having any cardiac EKG changes. Well my target heart rate is 150 beats per minute. I got to 144. I knew I would have problems with my back trying to walk and then jog and run especially uphill. ( for those who do not know I have a herniated disc L4 -L5 which makes it hard to walk) A lot of hospital test centers will use a stationary bike as an alternative but alas this was not so. The good news, no heart problems or abnormalities. Yay!

      All in all it was a good day.

Well thanks for coming today friends. I love you all, and together we can do this.

Here is today's quote.

 

        No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. ~George Bernard Shaw